Energymania II: Monster vs. Red Bull vs. Rockstar vs. Full Throttle

So here’s my current Top 3:

  1. Monster Khaos – The spelling hurts and it doesn’t taste as good as Full Throttle Fury. On the other hand, it has 40% less sugar, which I’m guessing is why it out-buzzes FTF for me. And the taste is far from awful — there’s very little of the sulfuric aftertaste in this one, instead it’s more like a chewable vitamin that’s been melted down and slightly carbonated.
  2. Full Throttle Fury – This is the only energy drink whose taste is actually bona fide *good*. To me. It’s like a high-sucrose orange soda with an adult-style kick to it. ‘Course, as mentioned, it’s exceptional in the sugar category, which I *think* dampens its energy-given qualities, but still, it really does taste good.
  3. Rockstar Juiced Guava – I don’t think it has the buzz effect of regular Rockstar, but on the other hand it doesn’t taste like cream soda and rotten eggs.

After those three there’s a big gap. Regular Monster, Red Bull, and Rockstar are tough for me to choke down. Eh — that’s probably too harsh, but they don’t taste that great and the energy kick doesn’t seem to be any better as a result of the weird taste. I was once a big fan (a month and a half ago) of regular Rockstar Juiced, but something in it started giving me indigestion, which has taken the shine off the experience (despite tasting okay and having a good energy contribution). I don’t get how Red Bull managed to fuel this energy drink boom — the taste seems too odd for mass appeal to me, although it’s essentially the same flavor as regular Rockstar and Monster.

Other Full Throttle variants — Regular and Blue Demon — aren’t bad tasting (similar to drinking an acidic Mountain Dew and a highly carbonated green apple Jolly Rancher, respectively), but they’re too acidic for my mouth to deal with. I end up with a sore tongue, similar to when I eat/drink citrus. Which is odd given that I’m not sure an actual fruit juice has ever come within a mile of either of those variants. Unless agave’s a fruit now. Neither delivers more energy than Fury, though, so there’s no sense in my spending much time worrying about Regular or Blue Demon when there are better options available.

For the sake of expressing the totality of my experience, I’ve also experimented with Amp Energy Overdrive, which to me was extremely similar to drinking a Code Red. Nothing wrong with that, but it didn’t seem to have any of the extra impact of a “true” energy drink. Also tried something called “Daredevil” once, but it tasted as bad as anything and had the smoothness, character, and packaging timidity of a down-market me-too product.

I’ll keep updating as events warrant.