n my ever-broadening attempt to fit in with a group — yeah, here:1. FIRST NAME? Chronologically speaking, I figure my family name, “Dunn”, was determined before my given name, “Brian”.
2. ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? There have been other people in the world who were named “Brian” before I was. Had there not been, it’s hard to imagine that my parents would have selected this name, even if they were the sort of people who would make up arbitrary names for children, which they’re not.
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? On Tuesday.
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes. I like that it looks like it’s going to be neat and intentional, but then when you actually try and read it, you’re skrude cuz you can’t tell an n from a u or an r from a v and if there’s an i in there anywhere, good luck to you.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? If we’re defining “favorite” based on frequency and “lunch meat” based on meats eaten by me for lunch (as opposed to, for instance, what you might find in a grocery store under the heading “lunch meats”), then ground beef. Under the grocery store definition, it’d be smoked ham, but not the cheap kind.
6. KIDS? Birds? Frogs? Cannibals? Postal workers?
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yes, because I *rule*.
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? No.
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Anyone who does should be shot or gored or both simultaneously.
10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? It’s possible to imagine a situation in which, yes, I would do this.
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? The kind that pays you money to eat it.
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? What period is defined by “when you take them off”? I untie my shoes before taking them off, so the answer is either yes or no, depending.
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? In what sense? I think I’m better than you, which may imply strength in a broad defnition of the term.
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? The kind that pays you money to eat it.
16. SHOE SIZE? Depends on the shoe manufacturer. A more objective measure might be the length from heel to big toe, for example. I think the best possible answer to the given question is: “typically between 9 and 10″. As an unscientific estimate based on anecdotal rememberances, I believe my shoe sizes average out at 9 1/2.
17. RED OR PINK? Gun-metal blue.
18. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My inability to self-deceive effectively or naturally.
19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? First off: whom. Holy —-ing —-. Whom. And anyway, unless I’m socially unengaged, I don’t typically miss anyone. That isn’t to say that my state might not be preferable with closer proximity between myself and a given individual, but I don’t typically actively *notice* that they’re missing when they’re not there.
20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Everyone? Meaning every man woman and child on Earth? Meaning every sentient being in the universe? Meaning…? Regardless, the answer’s probably no.
21. WHAT COLOR OF PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW? Tan shorts, black flip-flops.
22. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE WRITER/BOOK/MOVIE? Writer: Myself (duh). Book: 1984. Movie: Unforgiven.
23, WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? My loud hard drive. You can hear it from there, pretty sure.
24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Scab red.
25. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE SMELLS? Those which delight and edify.
26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU SPOKE ON THE PHONE WITH? A team of people from one of the consulting vendors at work.
27. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Demeanor.
28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? It wasn’t sent, it was appropriated and could have been appropriated from various known sources. I like the people who are responsible for those sources, however.
29. FAVORITE DRINK? Mountain Dew Code Red on fountain.
30. FAVORITE SPORT? Baseball.
31. HAIR COLOR? Dark brown. (How is this relevant? What is this even for? Ugh. There’s a picture of me on the homepage. Check that out if you really care what I look like.)
32. EYE COLOR? Brown. (Ibid.)
33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? My vision is *perfect* and I don’t appreciate the implication that it might be anything but.
34. FAVORITE FOOD? Pizza.
35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? Wrenching movies with downbeat endings.
36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Lola Rennt.
37. COLOR OF SHIRT YOU ARE WEARING? Gray.
38. WINTER OR SUMMER? They both seem to play a role in the preservation of the planet’s present ecosystems.
39. HUGS OR KISSES? Depends on the person, doesn’t it?
40. FAVORITE DESSERT? Hot peach cobbler with vanilla ice cream.
41. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Someone with time on their hands and a need for social norming within a social subset that includes people who would be interested in concepts attendant to this questionnaire.
42. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Someone with insufficient available time and no need to conduct an act of social norming within a social subset that includes people who would be interested in concepts attendant to this questionnaire.
43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Year’s Best SF #19 (Dozois) and A Briefer History of Time (Hawking).
44. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? N/A.
45. FAVORITE SOUNDS? My truck starting up, waterfalls, silence.
46. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? I did not watch TV last night.
47. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? The Pixies.
48. THE FURTHEST YOU’VE BEEN FROM HOME? Hokitika, New Zealand (6,940 miles from then-home Mission Viejo, Calif.). Second-place from a separate trip was Hong Kong at 6,495 miles from Federal Way, Wash.
49. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Yes.
50. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? March 8, 1972 at 2:10 PM Pacific Standard Time. Tacoma General Hospital, Tacoma, Washington, USA.
So it turns out that this was kind of wrenching with a downbeat ending. Awesome!