Energymania II: Monster vs. Red Bull vs. Rockstar vs. Full Throttle
So here’s my current Top 3:
- Monster Khaos – The spelling hurts and it doesn’t taste as good as Full Throttle Fury. On the other hand, it has 40% less sugar, which I’m guessing is why it out-buzzes FTF for me. And the taste is far from awful — there’s very little of the sulfuric aftertaste in this one, instead it’s more like a chewable vitamin that’s been melted down and slightly carbonated.
- Full Throttle Fury – This is the only energy drink whose taste is actually bona fide *good*. To me. It’s like a high-sucrose orange soda with an adult-style kick to it. ‘Course, as mentioned, it’s exceptional in the sugar category, which I *think* dampens its energy-given qualities, but still, it really does taste good.
- Rockstar Juiced Guava – I don’t think it has the buzz effect of regular Rockstar, but on the other hand it doesn’t taste like cream soda and rotten eggs.
After those three there’s a big gap. Regular Monster, Red Bull, and Rockstar are tough for me to choke down. Eh — that’s probably too harsh, but they don’t taste that great and the energy kick doesn’t seem to be any better as a result of the weird taste. I was once a big fan (a month and a half ago) of regular Rockstar Juiced, but something in it started giving me indigestion, which has taken the shine off the experience (despite tasting okay and having a good energy contribution). I don’t get how Red Bull managed to fuel this energy drink boom — the taste seems too odd for mass appeal to me, although it’s essentially the same flavor as regular Rockstar and Monster.
Other Full Throttle variants — Regular and Blue Demon — aren’t bad tasting (similar to drinking an acidic Mountain Dew and a highly carbonated green apple Jolly Rancher, respectively), but they’re too acidic for my mouth to deal with. I end up with a sore tongue, similar to when I eat/drink citrus. Which is odd given that I’m not sure an actual fruit juice has ever come within a mile of either of those variants. Unless agave’s a fruit now. Neither delivers more energy than Fury, though, so there’s no sense in my spending much time worrying about Regular or Blue Demon when there are better options available.
For the sake of expressing the totality of my experience, I’ve also experimented with Amp Energy Overdrive, which to me was extremely similar to drinking a Code Red. Nothing wrong with that, but it didn’t seem to have any of the extra impact of a “true” energy drink. Also tried something called “Daredevil” once, but it tasted as bad as anything and had the smoothness, character, and packaging timidity of a down-market me-too product.
I’ll keep updating as events warrant.
bkd
Monster: Tastes like someone melted every flavor of Jolly Rancher ever conceived and then mixed it with an equal part off-brand cough syrup. It tastes sweet yet awful. It also was the harbinger of my worst energy day since the start of the experimentation — I was dead on my feet (or in my chair, I guess) at 11:30. (However, it should be noted that energy swung back up in the warm glow of a lunch at the Thai place off Muirlands.) Also, I’m not sure whether the Monster may be to blame for my only getting 5.5 hours of sleep Friday night — although in fairness, this lack of sleep didn’t seem to have a particularly damaging effect on Saturday’s activities or energy level. (OTOH, it might have had one had I spent all day Saturday going to meetings and answering emails rather than honing my furniture-making skills.) Finally, Monster has the plus/minus of including the word “taurine” prominently on the top part of the can, which, if glanced at too quickly, leads you to believe that the drink contains, rather, “urine”. And the flavor doesn’t do much to dispel that thought.
Full Throttle Fury: The taste is not awful — it’s like a very sweet orange soda with chemicals in it, which makes it probably the best-tasting so far. As for the effects, the Full Throttle Fury has been consumed on the weekend, so it’s difficult to compare apples to apples here. There was a slight energy lull midday yesterday, but it’s difficult to know whether that can be attributed to the drink’s potency or to the aforementioned short sleep night on Friday (or to a cumulative effect of multiple consecutive days of self-dosing). But between the Full Throttle and Friday, I was actually asleep by 12:30 last night — sans melatonin. So, yeah, I’m totally screwing up the scientific nature of this study. Sorry.