For instance:

• “So where are you living now?”
• “Orange County”
• “Wow! Do you just love it out there?”
• “Uh… What kind of answer are you expecting? Like, do you want a real one, or should I just say ‘yes’?”
• [Brief hesitation.] “A real one, of course.”
• “Huh. So I was pretty miserable in New York, but I probably could’ve gotten used to it eventually. Living in Orange County has always seemed tenable to me, though certainly not ideal in all ways, and it’s tough to say ‘love’ when you mean ‘tenable’. Plus, I’ve yet to complete a thorough analysis of all possible places I could live. On the other hand, relative to other places I’ve lived recently, I don’t currently feel the immediate drive to leave that I did in New York or, for various reasons, Utah. In comparison to those two, I suppose it *could* be reasonable to say that I, relative to other places, ‘love’ living in Orange County. That said, I don’t feel exceptionally passionate about the place and a large part of my mind still holds out that there’s somewhere I’d prefer to live — which may or may not actually be the case.”

Also:

• “What do you do for a living now?”
• “Online marketing.”
• “That sounds really interesting.”
• “Uh — you know, sure. I mean, I get paid and I go to meetings and read email and stuff.”
• “Huh.”
• “Yeah, so, it’s all right — it’s kind of like a job.”

Schön wär’ es mal irgendwie anders denken zu können.

bkd

I know, I’m way behind the times, but there’s a 19-year-old kid in Minnesota who’s been charged with a felony for trying to sell his (presidential election) vote on eBay for a minimum $10 bid (Fox News via Cato).

The kid’s obviously an idiot who doesn’t understand the world’s appropriate social order. When elected officials buy votes with billions of dollars of tax money through contracts and “entitlements”, that’s *cool*. When it’s private individuals? It’s just embarrassing for everyone. Similarly, when giant lobbyist groups pay off congressmen for *their* votes, there’s a certain grace and elan to the cultivated ubiquity of the action. *Private* individuals, though? No dignity at all.

It’s ugly when the proles forget their place.

bkd

Was out of town on three of four consecutive weekends. Chicago, New York, Taos. There were fantastic things about each of those trips, but I’m (predictably) sick now (I’m assuming there’s a correlation), the house is messed up, I probably have overdue bills, I haven’t worked out or gone running since the travel period started, etc., etc.

Worst part, of course, is that I’m way behind on the blog. And all four people who read it are probably *really* pissed by now. How else will they find out What’s Wrong with Everything if I don’t tell them?

In case anyone’s worried: yes, I finished the TV stand. Like a month and a half ago. I got photos. One day I’ll post. Hopefully soon since that’s the only info that outsiders are coming here for.

The trips all probably deserve posts. But in summary:

• Chicago: thunderstorms, brother’s kids were cool, already posted about it.
• New York: thunderstorms and it won’t be much of a loss when Yankee Stadium gets razed.
• New Mexico: thunderstorms, Bandelier was cool, family reunions perhaps less so.

I’m making a mid-year’s resolution to Stop Going Anywhere, although it’s already gonna be getting undone by:

1. Going to shop.org in WOOHOOVEGA$$$!!!! in September. Because I love WOOHOOVEGA$$$!!! so very, very dearly — and because I think my boss is going.
2. Going to Kauai in October. Mostly just so I can go on that dumb drainage pipe hike that I wanted to go on last year but couldn’t because of the, well, thunderstorms.

In NM, talked a little bit with IT about Hitchhiker’s Guide and that one miserable character in there who was unknowingly the god of rain and who was followed by rain clouds everywhere he went because they loved him and wanted to be near him.

Just that this has been an uncanny run, that’s all. I blame the Republicans.

bkd

Because there were a few of them after all…

1. Water coming out brown the first time I tried to take a bath in-country.
2. Trying not to look at magazine stands.
3. Observing Hamilton teaching Leuzinger how to say “Don’t bend over to pick up the soap.”
4. Geschwister Böhme in Groitzsch.
5. Driving Brigham home, turning left on Stauffenbergallee and flooring it in order get air off the jump in front of the apartment.
6. Trying to set records for number of times going around the roundabout south of the ward building in Dresden.
7. Ultimate frisbee im Großen Garten in DD.
8. Taking photos involving Corn Flakes with Heil and Haglund im Büro.
9. Maintaining my own shadow mission using the mission companionship tracking software. No one got transfered nine times in their 22 months in *my* version.
10. Dynamo Dresden 0:0 1. FC Köln.
11. That one spigot coming off a random building in Dresden from which the city’s only potable water flowed.
12. Brooks somehow finding more money in the budget for one more run to McDonalds at the end of the month every month.
13. The way the train platform PA announcer in Glauchau said “Glauchau”.
14. Buying expired 7-Up by the case in Hohenstein-Ernstthal and having chicken feathers stuck to the cans.
15. Weekly planning sessions as art projects.
16. The night Hatch and Claudia showed up at the apartment at 2 AM in HOT.
17. Hohenstein Gunar’s impeccable San Diego surfer accent.
18. Zwickau Zone Conferences and P-Days — one of the best Thanksgivings ever, the Superbowl party in Anaberg, playing cards with Kent, et al, etc.
19. Teaching the first four discussions with Ellis to the prostitute in Hof (”C.S.V.”?) who never actually told us what her name was, but who had an interesting (if un-eclectic) collection of video tapes.
20. Bruder Bradley conducting Hof sacrament meeting in “German”.
21. The Potato Boy of Hof.
22. Doing splits (from Döbeln) to Mittweida where they had actual hot water in the apartment.
23. Heating the apartment using the burners on the gas stove.
24. Wilson, Reilly(, and me) beating the Germans at 3-on-3 indoor soccer.
25. Walz’s apple pies.
26. Tyler’s two-month-long recitation of The Lord of the Rings while doing doors.
27. The bratwurst in Gera.

bkd

Prove me wrong.

bkd

In case no one else has said it to you yet, Happy Flag Day. Thought this’d be as good a day as any to post a photo of one of my favorite recent acquisitions:

Got this last fall off of eBay. I still don’t get why you capitalize days of the week but not names of seasons. Another post. This was/is part of my WW2 life-as-homage project. Not sure if it’s just the yearning for a past that, due to its being over and done with, seems less problematic than the present or if it’s my yearning for a more symmetrical star-pattern (cuz brother, I *do* yearn for such) but I prefer this older flag to the current one. Seems truer.

For the bored and curious, here’s the box it came in:

Worryingly, the flag on the box has 50 stars, which makes it tough to date my flag. I’m guessing it must’ve come out right around the same time Hawaii was admitted. Or else this isn’t the original box.

I love the “Be American” admonition — talk about coming from a less-convoluted time period. Further, there are no warnings about what the manufacturer does or does not recommend users do with the flag (”not for internal use”, “keep flag away from open flame as it may catch fire”, “avoid jabbing flag into eyes”, “use only under adult supervision”, “flag may not be valid in all states”). I can only imagine what a mess the 1959 court system must have been without such CYA messages on all consumer packaging. Also appreciated is the box’s failure to tout a cross-promotion with NASCAR and/or the Disney Channel.

It seems like, in the modern day, individuals should have the choice to live a 1940s-style life if they so choose. We know what it was like back then — am I the only person out there who’d enjoy spending a week’s vacation in 1946?

Probably.

Out,

bkd

For work. And I’m not actually a big Sufjan Stephens fan, I just couldn’t get that song out of my head while I was there. Spent Sunday and Monday with my brother and his family before heading to the conference. Returned home last night. Had a good time. Got caught out in a sudden rainstorm while trying to hike at Starved Rock, a park located 90 minutes south of the city. Also went to the Field Museum downtown after which we, again, got caught out in a sudden rainstorm (while waiting for a taxi). Conclusion: Chicago has a lot of sudden rainstorms.

Also, my brother and I went to a Cubs game on Tuesday night.

Other conclusions: There are a lot of overweight people in Chicago. A lot of white people as well.

Here are some photos, which include some white people to whom I am related, although no overweight people regardless of relation status.

Me and my bro’s kids (a cell phone-quality photo).

A drenched hiker.

The Chicago skyline with Grant Park in the foreground.

Proof I was there (or “proof that I photographed myself leaning against a wall and then photoshopped that on top of an image of the Chicago skyline” — you choose).

Sister-in-law: Have you seen the giant mirrored bean?

Me: Would I know if I had?

Sister-in-law: Yes.

(Or at least, that’s how I’d like to remember the conversation — and I don’t think she reads the blog anyway. And if she does, she’s never commented. So I’m safe.)

Apologies if the above photos aren’t amazing. Every photo I take looks like a potential award-winner when viewed on this Mac Book Pro glossy screen, so I’ve assumed they’re brilliant.

Defiantly,

bkd

I’m not quite house-hunting yet, but watching the prices here in Orange County keep on falling is making me think I could start looking in another six months or so. So for the sake of posterity, here’s what I’m going to be looking for:

• No speed bumps between the house and the main street. Yes, this is my number one priority.
• Overhead lights.
• Over 1,800 s.f.
• No gated communities.
• No ugly tile.
• More than five feet separating my house from neighboring houses.
• Can’t back up to a major street, shopping center, or railroad tracks.
• No swimming pool.
• HOA fees < $100.
• Within 15 minutes of work via surface streets.
• No carpeted bathrooms.

Some nice-to-haves:

• No confusing, hard-to-spell, overly effeminate, or Tolkein-themed street names (the city of Lake Forest has a neighborhood with streets named Shadowfax, Gondor, and Rivendell).
• HOA fees < $20.
• Backs onto a park or open space.
• Big enough backyard to practice pitching in (i.e., > 60-feet, 6-inches long).
• Washer and dryer *not* in the garage.
• < 5 minutes to the freeway.
• Mailbox directly in front of the house.
• No bedrooms < 10×10.

Things I’m okay with that other people might not be:

• Wood paneling (the 70s were probably the best years of my life — why *wouldn’t* I be okay with wood paneling?!).
• A (mild) fixer. I don’t mind replacing the floors, painting, or getting the landscaping in order. (A cracked foundation would be a deal-breaker, though.)
• A lot of grass.
• Architecture that looks like it’s from the 1970s (see above).

Two points of reference for those of you who haven’t tracked Orange County real estate as closely as I have over the last couple of years:

1. When I moved back to Mission Viejo in 2006, the lowest listed price for any single-family, non-retirement community house in town was $599,000. Today: $385,000.
2. My old condo that I sold in 2004 is now listed at $75,000 less than I sold it for — and I sold it two years before the peak.

The cool thing is that all objective evaluation criteria point to a continued down-slope in prices here. I read last week that based on availability and sales rates there is currently 4.5 years of available inventory on the South Orange County market. And the vast majority of foreclosures that are or will be happening have yet to hit the market.

Still a great time not to own anything — for a few more months at least.

bkd

With that, then, it’s time to get going on building the framework. The vertical supports of this TV stand come in the form of four 2×2 boards. To these, I’m going to attach an apron that goes along the bottom of the TV stand, and then another, uh, apron that goes along the top (but not along the top-front). They should both help stabilize the beast, plus the bottom apron is going to be the support for the bottom shelf and the top apron is going to give me something to attach the top of the TV stand onto.

The pieces are all cut already. Also, I had to buy more wood since I neglected to buy what I needed for the top apron. This required an additional 4-foot long 1×3 and two more 2-foot long 1×3s. And in case you’re wondering, buying the two 2-footers was cheaper than buying one more 4-footer. I blame Bush.

So with that, time to stick the apron pieces to the legs. I believe in redundant systems, so I’m going to be using both wood glue and wood screws. First up: gluing the apron parts to the legs. I decided to use the pipe clamps for this since I hadn’t yet bought the quick-grip clamps…

Once these were glued (for some reason I let these dry overnight — probably for the sake of giving the glue a chance to actually do something), I went ahead and got to work with screwing in the redundant screws. Here are the screws I’m using:

These are 2-inch #8 wood screws. They need to be two inches since they have to get through 1 1/2 inches of the 2×2 uprights and then still have a little bit of hold in the 1×3s thereafter. The screw diameter (#8) is based on the largest diameter that I thought wouldn’t split the 1×3s (so far, so good).

Getting these screws in requires some thinking about what you’re doing. If you look at that screw up above there, you see how the screw gets wider at its head? This red oak I’m using does *not* accommodate that extra girth at the head. If you try to screw harder to get the thing flush with the wood, the screw will break and you’ll know which side of the TV stand is going to be facing the wall (which is kind of comforting to know, in a way).

I did a lot of test screwings on scrap trying to figure out how to get these suckers into the wood. What I determined was that  I needed to drill twice for each pilot hole. The first time was with a 7/32-inch drill bit — this part of the hole only needs to be deep enough for that widening head to sink into:

Once those were done, I went ahead and drilled the rest of the pilot hole using a 5/32-inch bit (drilling two inches deep). It’s important to do the 7/32-inch part first — if you go the other way around and do the deep pilot hole first, then the bigger drill bit gets confused and angry when you try and baby it into the hole for only an eighth of an inch or whatever. At least, that’s what *my* drill does. (BTW, these were the drill bit sizes that yielded optimal results in the testing — smaller bits resulted in broken screws and test-frustration.)

I’m only putting one screw in per upright-board combination. I’m assuming the glue will do *something* here and I don’t want to press my luck drilling into the skinny end of the 1×3s too many times — they’re only 3/4-inch thick and the #8 screws don’t leave much clearance on either side.

For the long sides of the bottom apron, it turned out that my 36-inch lengths of pipe weren’t long enough (the long side of the bottom apron is 36 inches itself). So I had to go out and get a big-enough quick-grip clamp and use that to aid in the gluing for the long sides.

The quick-grip clamps are pretty handy. They don’t take much work to use, they don’t have to be on the ground to work, and while they’re a little expensive (I think the three-footer was $35 or so), they… I dunno. They’re a little expensive. Between them and the pipe clamps, I have to think that the pipe clamps deliver more pressure. I could be way off on that, but for me it feels better to be able to tighten the clamp myself by rotating the pipe clamp handle than it does to push on this plastic trigger and *assume* it’s doing something. But so far, the quick-grip clamped gluings have done as well as the pipe clamp clamped situations. When my TV falls through the stand, though, you’ll know which one I’m going to blame.

Then once the long sides were glued, I went ahead and did the same drill-and-screw treatment to them as well. Then, once that was over, I put the “top apron” on, which was only three-fourths the work since I wasn’t putting an apron piece on the front of the TV stand. And with that, I got the makings of a real live box. Just to tease myself, I threw the top piece on top of it to get a glimpse of how it’s going to look in the end. (You’ll have to trust me: there’s a top apron underneath the top panel shown below.)

So close. So close. Not really.

Bad news at the hardware store today, though — they’re out of stock on the 4-foot 1×12s I need to build the two shelves. I’ll check back later in the week, but those shelves need serious 24-hour clamping times and are thus long-lead items (especially given that I only have three pipe clamps and will have to do one shelf at a time). But hopefully the trucks start rolling in tomorrow (to Lowe’s and nowhere else — I hate getting stuck behind ‘em) and I can pick up my new favorite boards during the week so they can be glued by the weekend and I can get to sanding, painting, and final assembly. Maybe.

bkd