Deeper Into Another Cult: Happiness Is a Warm Springfield ’03 Bolt-Action Rifle
- Is actually from World War II. Vintage. Awakens ghosts.
- Has a bolt action! Spent shells sound cool as they fly onto the ground.
- Grants me libertarian Second Amendment cred.
- Endears me to rednecks.
- Is very loud.
- Teaches you what a “magazine cut-off switch” does.
- Holds up to five rounds.
- Cool Springfield Armory logo and date (1-42) stamped on barrel.
- Finally something onto which I can latch all my trigger locks!
- Expensive ammo — $15+ per 20-round box!
- Shoots high.
- Bruises shoulder.