Movie Review: Prince Caspian

Best Part: When the Lion-Christ jumped forty feet across a ravine in order to break the dude’s neck, then awakened His tree army to go out and kill millions of soldiers who, like all soldiers, weren’t fighting for “the cause”, but rather for the guy next to them.

Biggest Question: When the pink minotaur was holding up the portcullis, how come no one bothered to help him lift it up so that the other half of the woodland army could escape the castle without getting killed?

Too Long By: 55 minutes.

Haiku Synopsis:

Brave little Brit kids

Love animals more than men,

So slaughter legions.

And Another Thing: There were a lot of people who died from chest bruises. And one day there’s going to be a fantasy world army that thinks to bring enough giant eagles to actually win the fight.

Grade: 5/10.

And thus ends this spate of movie reviews. Hopefully.