No Better Time than Now for Being Unemployed

The way I figure it, the problem with being unemployed isn’t as much the lack of means — somehow that’s going to work out — but the deprecation of social standing. So if you’re going to be unemployed, better to do it during a time when a lot of other people are also out of work, since that way your situation seems considerably more tenable.

Was reading the first chapter of a book about the Battle of Wake Island last night and in that chapter was related the story of a marine who, when he was ten years old, got a too-big-for-him used bike for Christmas and was overjoyed. Kids today wouldn’t likely react similarly. Why? Because their friends are getting brand new bikes every couple of years. The difference for the marine, of course, was that he was a kid during the depression, when not every kid on the street was lucky enough to have a bike of his own.

Not only that, but also from a future employment standpoint, getting laid off when everyone else does is vastly advantageous. Looking at the resume of a person who got laid off in 2009 during the economy’s nadir will raise no alarms — plenty of companies are going belly-up or shuttering business units or making across-the-board cuts in staff. Looking at the resume of someone who got “laid off” in 2004? Red flag. What could someone have possibly done to deserve that in ’04?

Same with getting your house foreclosed on. Imagine the embarrassment someone would have to feel if they got their house foreclosed on in 2004. The house’s “value” increasing exponentially, economy booming, and yet… I mean, there seems little likelihood of someone who got foreclosed on in ’04 would ever admit having been foreclosed on in ’04. Foreclosed on today? You’re the hot new thing. Foreclosed on tomorrow? You’ll be one of the guys. Maybe you can get a class action suit together.

Just sayin’.


(Oh, plus it’s good to be on the take when the left is ascendant.)


  • telkontar

    How far future?
    Even blending with the herd, some zerbras get eaten and the deprecation of social standing should be enhanced again. C’est la vie, when the left is ascendant.

  • Scramblejams

    Violent crime is on the rise too, so getting shot in ’09 or ’10 should be good timing. Unless it’s worn like a badge of honor, in which case you’d want to be the only guy in the room who could raise his hand, so maybe you should wait on that until we swing around again. Sorta the inverse of the situation you described.

    Now, of course the tin whiskers problem is about to hit us with a vengeance, so it’s a good time to revert to classic electronics. You could do it before it becomes fashionable. I’m working on a way to wire my Apple //e to the ‘net. Add a nice EMP shield in and I’ll be set for whatever.

    This is a whole new way of looking at things, I like it.

  • bkdunn

    Well, and similarly, if you’re going to shoot someone, this would therefore also seem like a good time. Maybe you can shoot and get shot — so many friends! I mean, relative to most years.